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Archive for fast food

Line Rage: Waiting in line at Subway

Posted in fast food, humor, life, Subway with tags fast food, life, lunch, Subway on September 3, 2009 by Paxton

Subway store

So, I didn’t bring my lunch and I decide to go to Subway. If any of you have ever stood in line at a fast food place, you will understand the term LINE RAGE. Witness the phenomenon in action.

______________________

I open the door, enter the Subway restaurant and quickly assess the line “situation”. Ahh, good, only 3 people in front of me this should go very quickly.

–10 minutes later

WTF is taking so long, lady? LETS. GO. Are you having a conversation with the “sandwich artist”? Are they your long lost relative? I DON’T F’N CARE! ORDER. YOUR. SANDWICH.

–5 more minutes later

Finally, I think this chick is wrapping up her order. It’s a good thing because I almost had to go “Michael Douglas in Falling Down” up in this place. How the hell does a veggie delight take so damn long to order? Anyway, this guy is up next. Hopefully he’s efficient and ready…..wait, oh crap. Dude has a bluetooth headset in his ear. He’s also wearing a button down shirt and khakis. NO! NO! NO! I may have an “office orderer” on my hands. Dude, DO NOT reach in your pocket and grab a list! He’s reaching in his pocket. Man, you better be pulling out your wallet or a picture of your grandmother because if you pull out a list of sandwiches I’m gonna be all over you like a fat kid on cake………………….He did it. He pulled out his list. I’m sorry my friend, but today is a good day to die.

Die

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Double Meat Beast Whopper: 6 Completely insane fast food menu items

Posted in Burger King, fast food, Japan, McDonald's, Pizza Hut with tags Burger King, fast food, humor, Japan, McDonald's, Pizza Hut on August 4, 2009 by Paxton

Dude, fast food ROCKS. I could eat it everyday, if it wouldn’t slowly kill me. Is it odd to love something that would kill me? I don’t care, I love it.

What I love most about fast food is the unbelievably over-the-top ways in which a restaurant will try to lure in customers. Menu items that inspire a nauseated sense of awe lure people in like zombies to a brain buffet. Japan is the king of crazy fast food, but the US has had it’s own triumphs. Let’s take a look at some of the most insane items a fast food restaurant has ever put on their menu.

BK Double Meat Beast Whopper – We open this list with Burger King’s Double Meat Beast Whopper, which might actually be the coolest name ever for a hamburger. This “beast” consists of two BK burger patties topped with a layer of pepperoni. That’s right, instead of just stacking another patty and/or bacon on this heart stopper and calling it a day, BK gets creative, digs deep, and finds a different category of meat to get stuck in your heart and kill you. It will probably surprise you to know that this is arguably the tamest sandwich on the list. A double burger with pepperoni is the tamest sandwich on the list? Yes it is. Think you have the stones to continue? Then let’s move on…

BK Quad Stacker – This bad ass burger kicks low blood pressure in the balls with FOUR hamburger patties, FOUR slices of bacon and FOUR slices of cheese. As far as I know these hunks of artery hardening insanity were available across the US as well as overseas. As a matter of fact, Hungry Jacks, the Australian Burger King, offered a variation. Hungry Jacks removed one of the hamburger patties (“whew!”) and added a FRIED EGG (“Wha-?!”). The World: “Fast food is making us fat!” Burger King: “F**k you.”

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Recent Fast Food ads that are hilariously AWESOME

Posted in advertising, Burger King, commercials, fast food, Jack in the Box, TV with tags advertising, Burger King, fast food, Hardee's, Jack in the Box, Taco Bell, TV commercials on July 16, 2009 by Paxton

Dude, I love fast food. I especially love fast food advertising. Fast food joints are right up there with beer/alcohol ads as being the most entertaining advertising in print or television. Here are some ads from the past few months that I have been LOVING.

Hardee’s French Dip Thickburger with French Maids - This has been a print campaign mostly for the Hardee’s French Dip Thickburger. It’s a third pound burger topped with roast beef and swiss with a cup of au jus for dipping. Sounds pretty awesome. I love that Hardees has the French maids as the mascots. That is clever and hilarious. See an intro video featuring the French maids here.

Hardee’s Biscuit Holes – I love the name of this product. Biscuit Holes. That is funny. However, Hardee’s currently has a campaign to rename them and the above video is the awesomely funny commercial that goes with it. I love seeing people trying to come up with something better than Biscuit Holes and everything they say is almost worse. See another biscuit holes commercial here (it’s just as funny).

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What our favorite fast food joints looked like back in the day Part II

Posted in advertising, Americana, Burger King, fast food, food, Pizza Hut, pop culture with tags advertising, Burger King, Dairy Queen, fast food, Pizza Hut, pop culture on February 4, 2009 by Paxton

Last week I introduced you to the early incarnations of some of our favorite fast food restaurants. You got to see McDonald’s, Arby’s and KFC the way they looked when they were opened in the ’50s and ’60s. If you missed this trip down vintage fast food lane just click here to be transported back to a simpler time. Back to a time when people knew that a bacon double cheeseburger and a side of chili-cheese waffle fries was a gift handed down by God himself unto the people of Earth. That a triple thick strawberry milkshake was made from happiness and love, mixed together by a benevolent soda jerk who only wanted to stop the pain of the real world…if only for a little while. But I digress…

If you’ve already read Part I of this article, and you are ready to see a few more vintage fast food eateries, then continue on, intrepid reader, for looks at yesteryear Pizza Hut, Dairy Queen and Burger King.

Burger King

The founders of BK visited one of the original McDonalds Brothers burger stands in California and thought they had a good system going. So they returned to Miami, devised their own production line burger system and opened up the first restaurant in 1954. The restaurant was named InstaBurger King (yes, that is a horrible name). When deciding to franchise, they changed the name to Burger King and the rest is history. Above you can see a magazine ad for one of the original Burger Kings in the ’50s – ’60s. On the right is a picture of that same building architecture as it stands in Naperville, IL. Amazing that this building is still intact. Until this picture I had no idea that a Burger King ever looked like this. Very similar to the original McDonald’s architecture, don’t you think?

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What our favorite fast food joints looked like back in the day Part I

Posted in advertising, Americana, fast food, food, Kentucky Fried Chicken, McDonald's, pop culture with tags advertising, fast food, Kentucky Fried Chicken, McDonald's, pop culture, Taco Bell on January 27, 2009 by Paxton

Vintage Burger Chef Fast food franchises have been around for years. Some of the first ones were started back in the ’50s as malt shops or diners. Since then, there have been many different variations of the fast food franchise; burgers, chicken, ice cream, seafood, family-style, etc. As the type and menu changed, so have the styles, image and logo of the establishment. Many of the most popular fast food franchises of today have been around since the ’60s and if you were to travel back in time to see your favorite restaurant as it stood back in the day, you may not even recognize it.

I was perusing some of the photostreams in Flickr as well as some of my favorite fast food groups and you can see plenty of awesome pictures of fast food franchises and how they used to look back in the day. I even remember some of them! So let’s take a look at a few of the more popular franchises and how their “look and feel” has changed from ’60s until now.

You can click any of the below pictures to see them BIGGER.

McDonald’s

McDonald’s began in 1940 with a restaurant in San Bernandino, CA opened by (surprise, surprise) the McDonald brothers. They developed their “SpeeDee” delivery system in this restaurant that has become the basis for all modern fast food franchises. Ray Kroc, a salesman providing milkshake machines to the brothers, convinced them to let him franchise their operation in 1955. Kroc bought out the brothers and took McDonald’s to the lofty heights you see today. Due to its long history, McD’s architecture has had more face lifts than Joan Rivers. There are so many different styles of McDonald’s restaurants that it’s almost impossible to nail down different eras of buildings. Don’t even get me started on the different styles for the “golden arches” signs as there are too many to even begin a listing here. I could probably do an entire article on McDonald’s architecture and store design (*note to self). Moving along, the picture above is one of the earliest building incarnations from a McDonald’s in the ’50s – ’60s. Many McDonald’s restaurants today are being built in this “retro” styling. Check out the huge, modern, 2-floor McDonald’s in Chicago that was built in this style.

This is probably one of the more familiar versions of the McDonald’s restaurant. It’s brown roof with white striping has become iconic for McDonald’s lovers as it’s visage was used throughout the ’80s in commercials. This style started, I believe, in the ’70s or ’80s. There was also a version of this building with yellow striping on the roof.