Cavalcade of Awesome

If you missed the first part of this article, in which I show you Santa getting his ass kicked, then check it out here.  I also wrote another article featuring ’50s and ’60s super heroes helping Santa deliver toys on their covers.  See those comics here.

This week, we are changing it up and featuring a Santa Claus that has had enough and taking things into his own hands. Time to bloody up the snow with comic book covers featuring Santa kicking all kinds of asses.

From the 2008 Jingle Belle Holiday Special. Santa vs Frankenstein. You saw this a few months ago during my AWESOME-tober-fest 2009 countdown. I still maintain that it is awesome beyond words.  SANTA VERSUS FRANKENSTEIN.  Why has no one else thought of this?  And where’s the movie script?

Hulk #378 – Santa fights The Incredible Hulk.  With a crowbar.  While falling out of a building.  The only thing left would be to have them (or the building) on fire, but I’m not sure my mind could handle that much BAD ASS.

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“Oh, the weather outside is frightful.
But beating Santa’s ass, is sooooooo delightful.”

Okay, I was paraphrasing those song lyrics. But they tie into today’s topic, you’ll see.

Santa Claus has a long history of showing up in comics books as an actual character, especially around the holidays. In the ’50s and ’60s, it was a more innocent time. Santa showed up as the typical jolly, old elf. He would distribute cheer and famous super heroes would help him deliver his toys to all the boys and girls.  Last week, I looked at a few of these jolly comic covers featuring Santa Claus.

In the ’70s and ’80s, things were a bit different for Mr Claus. For one thing, comic heroes had no problem beating the fat boy down. Seriously. Santa showed up as an adversary throughout the ’70s and ’80s. Then in the ’90s and ’00s, Santa turned the tables, armed himself to the teeth, and took on all comers like some bad ass pit fighter in a Van Damme movie.

Today, I’m going to take a look at the comic book covers that feature Santa getting his jolly, old ass handed to him by some of our most beloved superheroes. Don’t worry, though, next week, we’ll see Santa get his revenge. For now, let’s watch all kinds of mayhem be delivered unto “The Claus” as Santa gets his butt kicked by some of the most violent heroes of the ’90s.

Lobo Paramilitary Xmas Special (1991) – I mentioned this comic last year when talking about my holiday reading.  Lobo gets into literally a 10 page vicious, bloody brawl against an armed-to-the-teeth Santa.  As you can see by the cover, it doesn’t end well for Father Christmas.  To be fair, though, Santa is portrayed as a slave driving, drunken dictator over all of his elves.

Hitman #22 (1998) – I’m not sure what leads to this moment in the story, but Santa seems to be in a situation that is causing him to rethink the decisions he’s made.  And by that I mean he just crapped his pants.  Feliz Navidad, bitch!

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