So, to tide everyone over, I’m going to show you two funny videos I’ve found around the net.  Sorta keep you entertained.  I fully intend to thrust into your consciousness my best/worst movie lists for 2009, so prepare for that.  Until then, laugh along with these funny and insane videos.

Everyone here knows my love of the Back to the Future trilogy. Well Tom Wilson, the guy who plays Biff in the series, actually does stand up comedy now. This is one of his best bits. It’s a song about all the dumb questions he gets asked over and over by fans.

Well played, Japan. Well. Played. You have actually won the Internet with this video.

The original Back to the Future is one of my favorite movies of all time. I saw it over 12 times in the theater the year it was released (1985). The theater by my house played $1.95 movies on Monday nights (as a promotion with the local radio station I-95) and my dad would take my brother and I almost every week. And every week I’d go see Back to the Future again and again.  Then when Back to the Future hit VHS, I had my dad go to Blockbuster the day it was released to rent it.  I watched it that night, and you can only imagine the moment the final screen on the VHS popped up:

I nearly crapped my pants in excitement after letting out a shamefully, girlish squeal of delight.  HOLY CRAP!  THERE’S GOING TO BE ANOTHER BACK TO THE FUTURE MOVIE!!  My 13-14 year old mind couldn’t comprehend something that awesome.  It nearly shut down.  What I didn’t know is that it would be another few years before the sequel would be released.

Then, on November 22, 1989, Back to the Future Part II would be unleashed on this world.  And nothing, including me, would ever be the same (I may be overplaying a bit on the drama…FYI).

I saw Part II within the first week it opened.  My dad (who was, and still is, AWESOME) actually picked me up from school and took me to the very next showing.  And it was everything I wanted it to be. We saw the future, we went back to the past. We even re-visited the events of the original movie but seen from a different point of view.  It was fantastic. I loved every second of the movie. However, I can’t precisely remember if I knew going in that there would be a cliff hanger ending. I’m inclined to say I didn’t know about the abrupt ending (as this was pre-Internet days), so the cliff hanger did irritate the crap out of me.  However, the movie got back some cool points after showing like a 10 minute trailer to Part III before the credits.  Part III was released around six months later in May 1990.

Part III, while not as good as the first or second one, was still a pretty good movie and a fun, fitting end to the franchise.  I didn’t like the cartoon, so I am reluctant to acknowledge its existence.

Back to the Future Part II is the only movie in the franchise with more than one poster. Not only was there the Drew Struzan poster seen above, but there were several “teaser” posters (click images to make BIGGER).  Neither the original Back to the Future nor Part III had “teaser” posters.

There have been a lot of items released for the two Back to the Future sequels.  They were a huge media release and, since they opened within 6 months of each other, they were merchandised heavily.  Here are some of those products.

Topps released a set of trading cards and stickers for the second movie.

The Nintendo Entertainment System combined the two sequels into one shockingly awful video game.

Mad Magazine spoofed the original movie and Part II. Here are the covers for Part I (wonderful cover art by Jack Davis) and the less imaginative cover for Part II.  Click the images to see them bigger.

In 1990, Data East released the Back to the Future pinball game. Check out this ridiculous ad for the game (click image to make BIGGER). What’s up with the actors playing Marty and Doc? Had the people who created this ad even seen the movie?!

And here’s a hardback book called Back to the Future: The Official Book of the Complete Movie Trilogy. It was released in 1990 and featured lots of production photos as well as stills from deleted scenes and rejected poster concepts.

That’s just some of the cool merchandise released for the Back to the Future sequels. The Back to the Future series continues to be one of my favorite movie trilogies of all time and one that I will continue to buy in every format as I’ve owned it on both VHS and DVD, and I’m currently waiting for the Blu-Ray release. Maybe next year for Back to the Future’s 25th anniversary.

I have a few more Back to the Future items I’ll show you in a few days, so stay tuned.

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First, Back to the Future Part II turned 20 years old.  Can you believe it?  Back to the Future was one of my favorite movies of all time (if not my favorite) and I loved both of the sequels.  Part II was released on November 22, 1989.  So happy birthday, Back to the Future Part II!  I’ll be sure to have a celebratory article up this week.

The other event is Boris Karloff’s birthday.  Today is Boris Karloff’s birthday (122 years old!).  Having just gone through AWESOME-tober-fest where the theme was Frankenstein, I was acutely aware that Boris’ birthday was fast approaching.  The Frankenstein blog, Frankensteinia, is hosting a Boris Karloff Blogathon this week. Click on over and check out all the cool articles about Frankenstein, Boris Karloff and everything having to do with Mr Karloff. It’s a ton of fun.  I’ll also have a review of House of Frankenstein, Boris Karloff’s final Universal Frankenstein movie this week.

Stay tuned!

In case you didn’t know, I run for fun and exercise. I guess I got a cut one week and it became infected and I had to go on anti-biotics for 10 days. The infection came back and I guess it kept getting worse. I finally couldn’t take the pain anymore so I went to the doctor and they thought it was a fungus. So I go on an anti-fungus medicine for 5 days or so and my face turns purplish-red and swells up to gigantic proportions. One of my eyes almost swells shut. I looked like Violet Beauregard from Willy Wonka after eating the blueberry gum…except I was purple and red. It was ridiculous. So I go back to the doctor to have him look at my new deformities and apparently, I’m now allergic to anti-fungal medication. Nice. So the doctor refers me to a dermatologist before he does anything else, just to be sure. Great idea in order to avoid any more allergic mishaps, but now I have to go to another doctor.

So I go to the dermatologist, but unfortunately the only one the doctor could get me into on short notice was one in Ponta Vedra Beach which is about an hour away. Also, that area is the nice, rich and posh side of town. So I drive all the way over there, walk in and see exactly what I expected to see. Since this is a super nice doctor’s office there are like 4 receptionists and they are all HOT. Here I am, oozing sores all over my body with a puffy, purplish Barney dinosaur-like face and I have to confront four young, hot ladies in order to check in. I felt like the Elephant Man or a leper. I wanted to scream “Don’t look at me….for I am ugly. I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!” None of them really did more than give me pity looks so I sat down in the waiting room to fill out paperwork. After waiting like 40 minutes I finally get in and the doctors diagnose me with Impetigo. I’m like, “WTF is Impetigo?!” It sounds like something a pirate would’ve contracted back in the 1700s. “Aye, matey, me Impetigo is flaring up somethin’ fierce!” It sounds like something that would have been cured 100 years ago. This will be an interesting affliction to add to my collection. I had Gout last year. WTF?! Gout also sounds like some Old World affliction we cured centuries ago. What is it about me that attracts old-fashioned sounding afflictions? What’s next…rickets? Scurvy?

To make a long story short (too late) they prescribe antibiotic pills and creme and something to help me sleep at night because I haven’t been able to do that comfortably for the last week. I’m slowly healing now. The sores are going away and I’m sleeping better. I’ll be glad to be able to get back into the groove of running/swimming when the sores are more healed. I’m just glad this whole ordeal seems to be over. Thank you to all of you who expressed their concerns last week (those I actually told about this, I kept it quiet for a bit).

And that’s the long and short of why I didn’t post last week. I should be back on schedule moving forward.

Now on to some similarly sad news. There was a huge fire on the backlot of Universal Studios in Hollywood, CA on Sunday. It managed to destroy many sets including the famous Hill Valley Courthouse from the Back to the Future series.

As many of you know, the Back to the Future movies are some of my favorite movies of all time (check out my homage at the top of this blog). I loved all of them, including the sequels, the Ride and the cartoon. I actually went on the Universal Studios Hollywood back lot tour twice when I was on project in Los Angeles back in 2000. However, neither time I went on the back lot tour did I get to see the Hill Valley Courthouse. Both times there was filming going on that prevented the tram from going over there. I had to glance at it from afar with one of those telescopes that costs a few quarters. I was extremely disappointed because that was really the only thing on the back lot I wanted to see. Universal will probably rebuild it exactly the same, but I don’t know the next time I’ll actually visit Universal Studios Hollywood, as now that I live in Jacksonville, FL, I can go to Universal Studios Orlando whenever I want.

Very, very sad loss of an important piece of movie history.

This is just salt in the wound after Universal closed down Back to the Future the Ride to replace it with The Simpsons Ride.

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Since I’ve read and watched so much stuff, I thought I’d list some of my favorite time machines in movies and/or tv shows. None of these are perfect, I even discuss their problems and idiosyncrasies, but they are cool nonetheless. So sit back and let’s take a look at some of the coolest time vehicles ever created.

The Tardis from Doctor Who – I’ve never really watched Dr Who…EVER, but I’ve always liked the look of his flying time machine/phone booth. This police box is more than just a time machine, it also serves as a base of operations and a space ship. It has the cool feature of being much larger on the inside than you would expect on the outside. They can also change shape to blend in with their surroundings. Apparently, though, Dr Who’s vessel is an outdated model that has a faulty chameleon circuit that is stuck in the police box form. It also is unreliable in it’s time travel because it’s an older model and prone to breakdowns. Sounds like something Han Solo and Chewie would piece together with spit, duct tape and a prayer.

The phone booth from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure – This was a cool idea, and I like the gimmick of it, but in practice it leaves a lot to be desired. There’s not much room on the inside, and other than travelling to the 20th and 21st centuries, the vehicle itself might seem out of place and draw attention. I don’t imagine our forefathers would take kindly to a phone booth popping up in the middle of the White House lawn. However having a “time book” to tell you how to go wherever you want to go would be nice. But, again, Bill & Ted proved it’s pretty easy to be stuck in time when their antenna was damaged. But, again-again, they fixed it pretty easy with some discarded metal canisters. Time travel must not be too hard if Bill and Ted can service a broken time booth. Also, I never liked this movie’s rule that the clock in San Dimas is always ticking. Meaning when Bill and Ted left on their time trip, if they spent 24 hours searching for historical persons, when they return it had to be 24 hours later. That makes no sense. You are in a time machine, you should be able to go back to 1 minute after you left. That’s somewhat the point of time travel, no?

The quantum accelerator from Quantum Leap – This is a cool way to travel as you become someone else and interact with the people around you as that other person. The downside, you have no control over where you are going or if you will ever be able to return home. And you can’t take back souvenirs because your body jumps away into the next situation. So, actually, this time machine sucks. Nevermind.

Time vehicle from Time Cop – This is another cool time transport device. Controlled by rooms of supercomputers, you can pinpoint exactly where you are traveling in time. However, you can’t travel to the future, only to the past and back to your original point in time. Take a look at the picture; the time machine is an angular, wedge shaped vehicle that travels forward on a set of tracks at an extreme velocity towards a brick wall surrounded by some weird, stone circle structure. When it reaches a certain point on the track it pierces the fabric of the time barrier and disappears. Interestingly, the movie alludes to the fact that the vehicle sometimes doesn’t work properly and crashes into the aforementioned brick wall at the far end killing the passengers. My question? Why did they build a wall at the end of the track in the first place? Why didn’t they leave the room open at one end with no wall/giant circle structure to crash into, then when the ship doesn’t pierce the time barrier, it just glides to a stop. Nobody has to die. At the very least they could put some pillows or a giant net at the end to catch the ship. I mean, COME ON, I have three or four better ideas than a deadly brick wall to kill my passengers and I’m not even a futuristic scientist building a time machine. After the ship breaks the time barrier and disappears, the time passengers are dropped into the past…sans vehicle. Where does the giant car-sized machine go as it is not seen in the past at all and magically appears back on the tracks later in the movie?

Delorean from Back to the Future – This is the quinessential time machine. Cool car, acurate time circuits. And at the end of the movie when it gets fitted with Mr Fusion and no longer needs Plutonium to power the time circuits (and it gets the hover conversion), it becomes the easiest and funnest to use. Who wouldn’t want to drive a flying Delorean into the past and/or future? I know I would. Back to the Future made the Delorean cool again.

Time Egg from Green Futures of Tycho – I read this book when I was in 7th or 8th grade. Great story. It’s considered Children’s Literature but the story is pretty dark. Young Tycho finds a silver egg in his backyard. After playing around with it he discovers that it’s actually a time device. He can set some dials on the bottom and press a button on the top and be taken to any destination in time that he so desires. He decides to alter some unpleasant incidents in the past but he soon finds out they have major repercussions on his present…and his future. The time egg is great because it’s small, portable enough to fit in your pocket, and can go both forward and backward in time. It’s instantaneous too, so if you get in trouble, reach in your pocket, flip the dials and press the button for a quick escape. No running back to the time machine or having to start the motor. Very convenient.

How about a few of the worst time machines ever?

Cessna plane from Time Chasers – One of the worst movies ever, but one of the greatest episodes of Mystery Science Theater ever. Science geek Nick Miller builds a time machine out of a Cessna airplane and an Apple II computer. Very cost efficient using a small AIRPLANE to power your time machine…WTF?! Did the scientist think it would just be easier to travel in time with a plane? That’s crazy. When he takes a girl in the time machine they go on a date to the future and eat at what looks like an Orange Julius in an outdoor mall area. But you know it’s an Orange Julius in the future because everyone is wearing one piece shiny silver suits and weird head gear. If you watch this, be prepared…or just watch the MST3K version.

Uncle Rico’s time machine – Obviously not a real time machine, but I think it’s the funniest. I laugh just thinking about it. “If only coach would have put me in the game back in ‘85. We would have won State.”

Have a good weekend everybody!

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