12 Completely insane Polish posters for American movies

Holy crap. I think Poland needs a therapist, Stat!

ET (Via cinemaposter.com)
E.T. – E.T. looks totally high in this poster. “My finger lights up! Heh, heh, heh! I could totally nosh on some Reese’s Pieces right now, dude.”

Weekend at Bernie's(via cinemaposter.com)
Weekend at Bernie’s – This is a poster for the Human Centipede version of Weekend at Bernie’s.  WTF, Poland?!

Alien(via cinemaposter.com)
Alien – I don’t know what movie the Polish watched, but DAMN.

Raiders of the Lost Ark(via polishposter.com)
Raiders of the Lost Ark – Dude, that one part in Raiders where the tentacle crawled through the human skull with saber-tooth fangs totally terrified me when I was a kid. Remember that? No? Was that just me?

Enter the Dragon(via polishposter.com)
Enter the Dragon – Are we sure this isn’t a sequel to The Crow?  Or a documentary about The Cure?

Neverending Story(via wellmedicated.com)
The Neverending Story – It looks like a 5 year old with crippling ADHD drew this poster.  Is that supposed to be Falcor?  And Bastian?  The Hell?!

Christine(via polishposter.com)
Christine – You remember that movie based on a Stephen King book? The one with the killer car with the mouth? That ate people? That was a thing, right?

Willow(via wellmedicated.com)
Willow – Is that old guy whispering to a tree? Or is he about to give the tree a wet willie?  Or a wet willow, as the case may be.  Hahaha, I joke because I have no idea what this poster is supposed to be.

Airplane Airplane 2

(via polishposter.com)
Airplane and Airplane 2: The Sequel – Wow, okay.  Is the plane in the Airplane 2 poster trying to lick it’s own ass?

Gremlins(via wellmedicated.com)
Gremlins – Again, this looks like something a toddler would do in the preschool nursery.  Why is the guy dressed as Santa?  Did Santa make an appearance in the film?  And were the Gremlins Jack-in-the-Boxes?

War Games(via wellmedicated.com)
War Games – I’m not going to lie, I somewhat like this.  It would make a good Criterion cover.

Oh look, wish granted!
Polish War Games CC

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5 Responses to “12 Completely insane Polish posters for American movies”

  1. phillyradiogeek Says:

    There is a nice Polish poster for Jaws that I featured on my blog a few years ago: http://meandyouandablognamedboo.blogspot.com/2010/06/jaws-week-jaws-movie-posters.html

  2. Ok, these are basically nightmare inducing!

  3. The “Weekend At Bernie’s” poster looks like something out of a fever dream.

  4. What in the world is going on in Poland!? What the heck? And who approved these? The Neverending Story one scares me the most.

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